I am very very sad..... don't ask me why......... can't answer you......... my heart is shattered and I don't know how to piece them back. I don't know where to start picking........ somehow a part of me seems to have disappeared......... BUT I believe in a God that can turn water into wine so I know only He can mend my heart.

Lord, I don't know what to say and I don't know where to begin...... help me....... help me to forgive ........ help me to trust again.......... help me to believe again, help me to love again......... it's such a struggle for me............ part of me truly want to let go....... but part of me just want to hold on to the pain.............Lord, show me Your mercy that I may learn forgiveness......... remind me that I can love again because You first love me.............. give me strength so that I can do all things in You and give me peace that supasses my understanding. Lord, guard my heart and mind. I choose to trust and believe in you to lead me to green pasture. Thank you, my Jehovah Rohi! Thank you, my Jehovah Rophe!

"Precious Jesus, I am ready
To surrender every care
Take my hand now
Lead me closer
Lord I need to meet You there"

To end this post on a lighter note: I LOVE MISS SWAN! hahaha, watched all of the videos and still could not get enough of her stupidity!

THE FOUNDATION FOR A HEALTHY CHURCH

Just reflecting about what had happened over this weekend. Can't help but think, somewhere in the midst of running the church, we forgot about our purpose and reason for being in Yishun. Yup, I nearly lost it, even felt like leaving and putting everything behind. I am not bothered by what happened to a fellow brother but was upset with the condition of our church after much reflection. I took up the book "Purpose-driven Church" and read the chapter on building a healthy church. So these are my thoughts on the subject above:

If we want to build a healthy, strong, and growing church, we must spend time laying a solid foundation. This is done by clarifying in the minds of everyone involved exactly and what it is supposed to do. Our church's foundation will determine it's size and strength. we can never build larger than our foundation can handle. - Let's take a look at our mission statement and vision for the year:

Mission Statement
"To be a people full of Christ, building a strong cell group, making disciples in Yishun, and helping evangelise Singapore and Asia".
(must keep reminding myself of this mission statement so that I don't lose focus!)

Our Vision
Two-fold Vision for 2005/2006
1. Turning unchurched Yishunites into faithful believers of Jesus Christ. ( I think there are some!)
2. Intentional expansion and development of our leadership base as God extends our tent. (Well, 2006 is coming to an end so hopefully this will come to pass!)

I felt that we did not state our visions clearly to the congregation and in between, we actually begin to look at other issues especially when our Senior Pastor left. We need to go back to our visions for the year. I know there are important issues to solve but I hope we willl not get distracted halfway.

A clear purpose builds morale
Morale and mission always go together. 1 cor 1:10 says ," Let there be real harmony so that there won't be spilts in the church... Be of one mind, united in thought and purpose." People working together for a great purpose don't have time to argue over trival issues. When you're helping to row a boat, you don't have time to rock it!.The key to harmony is the church be united in purpose. If our mission is unclear, our morale will be low.

A clear purpose reduces frustration
A clear purpose statement reduces frustration because it allows us to forget about things that don't really matter. It not only defines what we do, it defines what we don't do.

A clear purpose allows concentration
Let's be an effective church. Review our purpose continually so that we can keep our priorities straight and our church focused.

A clear purpose attracts cooperation
People want to join a church that knows where it's going. when a church clearly communicates its destination, people are eager to get on board. This is because everyone is looking for something that gives meaning, purpose and direction to life.

A clear purpose assists evaluation
We should evaluate our church by asking, " What is our business?" and then, "How's business?" Our church's purpose statement must become the standard by which we measure our congregation's health and growth.

I am now looking hard at our mission statement and visions again. I pray that I will not allow anything else to come in my thoughts but to focus on what God has placed in our hearts right at the beginning. We need to go back to our foundation, our roots.

Alright "yawn"... time to express milk and sleep....

ONE LONG SIGH...

OK OK, ONE MORE IS LEAVING, SO WHO'S NEXT? SIGH.....AI.........SIGH........AI........................................SIGH..........................................................................................AI......................................................................AI............................................................ALRIGHT THIS IS ENOUGH...... AI..................SIGH...................SHARON STOP IT! SIGH.................AI.........................SIGH.........................OK REALLY ENOUGH ALREADY!

Just hope things will turn out fine. Yup, we will miss you! Goodbye and God bless..... Stay focus bro.....

MY 15 MINS NO FUSS EAST MEETS WEST LUNCH

DH is not buying lunch for me today. So I have to cook for myself. And I only have about 45 minutes to cook and eat before DS wakes up for his lunch. This is my masterpiece....
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Yup, my 15 minutes no fuss east meets west lunch. Here's the recipe:

Ingredients:
1/2 tbsp of Mushroom & aloe vera stock (you can use any stock!) Btw, this is sponsored by Ale!
2 tbsp of Prego mushroom sauce
1 packet of Udon noodles
CP wantons (very nice, you can put as many as you want!)
Seawaves Vegatarian meat Gyozas (fantastic, you can put as many as you want too!)
Green peas (for those who hates these, you can put other vege or even tofu and mushrooms)
Crabstick (up to you how many you want to add in)

Procedure:
Boil 2 pots of water at the same time. One for cooking noodles alone and the other for the soup and ingredients. OR if you are lazy, just throw everything into the pot when the water boils. Cook for about 12 mins and pour them into a bowl... and tata.... a yummy 15 minutes lunch is ready!

Hee... maybe one day I will turn my blog into a food blog cos food is one of my greatest love. Well, have to wait till Joash is older before I can take up my wok again. Poor DH, he really misses home-cooked food. For now, he just have to make do with this type of everything in one dish meal... haha!

A little update, DS has started to walk around his playpen by holding on to the edge. After discovering his new found skill, he seems to have a harder time going down for his nap. Guess he wants to practice... sigh... poor me, got to put him down again and again!

Hmm... since Christmas is round the corner, I have been thinking about my wish list... maybe will blog something on this in my next post.

A PLEASANT SURPRISE

I 've got a pleasant surprise this morning. As usual, I couldn't go church cos my DS did not sleep well. I went into DS's bedroom to greet him. I was entertaining him with a piggy puppet while waiting for his milk to heat up. He suddenly got so excited ..............................
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and pulled himself up from the playpen mattress. Yes, he had learnt to stand up on his own at (look at clock in pic!) 9.31am today... well done son!

My DH is going to be very surprised too if he sees these pictures. Haha, i want to be the first to put these pictures up cos I just can't wait to share my joy with all of you. If you want to see more pictures of Joash standing, please wait for my DH to load them up on his blog.

Ok, got to go and attend service online at CHC now! See you..... *frown* cannot connect to media... sigh... got to keep trying again. Joash is crying, bye bye!

FAREWELL & BD DINNER AT SAKURA

Last night, we brought Kuen & Daryl (yes, the same 2 guys who did up my blog!) to Sakura for buffet dinner. For Kuen, it is to sent him off with happy memories before NS and for Daryl, a belated birthday treat!

Alright before I continue to talk about them, I must comment on the food at Sakura. They have a simple but rather yummy spread. Most of the food are Japanese (my fave!) and if you like sashimi, you will enjoy this place. The steak is suprisingly tender and tasty. I don't usually like beef but I kind of enjoy theirs. The dory is very good but as for the salmon, you can skip it! All the claypots food are not up to my standard. There are about 10 ice-cream flavours to choose from too. The nicest would be Rum & Raisin (my DH's fave!). The desserts are simple and delicious although I don't really like the way they display them. Aesthetically unappealingly! Here's a pic of some Japenese desserts that I took. The rice red bean stick is my favourite! Oh ya the black stuff you see is Guiling gao (taste good!). Overall, if you are looking for an average price dinner buffet ($26 nett), this is a good place plus you can enjoy the shopping scene as you eat. Wow, I sound like some kind of food critic!



Ok, back to the two young men, we really enjoy their company last night. On our way back, my DH was commenting how relax and comfortable we are with them, well I gues they have become more them just mentees. They are our friends now.

Kuen: I must tell you that I didn't really like you when I first saw you. I thought you were "tao"! Although you still have the "tao"look sometimes, I know you are quite a warm fuzzy bear inside (see above pic, haha!). In fact a very sweet boyfriend to Fion Fion. Yup, enlistment is tomorrow, no more nightmares cos it will become a reality... face it! I know you will be able to go thru' this, given that you are already very fit and mentally prepared (are you?). I pray that you will have supernatural strength and courage from the Lord to see you thru' NS. And in fact bring you closer to Him too. Kuen, you have our shoulders to lean on when you need. Alright friend, take care & God bless!

Daryl: You know I always have a soft spot for you. Yes, as much as everyone disagrees, esp Em, I still think you are an angel! You came across as someone helpful and nice. Somehow, you reminded me of my DH when he was your age. Except that, my DH is not as blur as you. He is smarter and will not fall for the same trick twice! Haha...... Ok jokes aside, I just want to encourage you to continue to serve the Lord fervently and to look to Him when you are unsure about where you are heading in life. Ask Him for directions and wisdom for everything that you do. We're behind (or rather beside) you!

And to end our wonderful time together, we took a group photo:

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Don't we look like we are advertising for Sakura? Hee.........

2 CENTS WORTH OF ADVICES? THKS BUT NO THKS!

I am venting my frustrations about some well-meaning people who gave me some 2 cents worth of advices about going to church and parenting. As everyone would say in their blogs, if you thinks it is you, it is you!

2 cents worth of advice No. 1: You should not let your baby dictate your schedule.

I chose to let him dictate it cos it makes life easier for him & me. Do you expect me to wake him up when he's sleeping? Do you like it when someone do that to you? As adults, we can control our emotions better. But babies, depending on temperaments do not like to be interrupted especially when they are sleeping. They can get very grouchy and you will become grouchier than him! I prefer to arrange my activities around his feeding and sleeping time. When he is happy, I am happy. One of my parenting philosophy is "Treat your baby with respect". He is also a human, not a thing!. Please respect my parenting values & styles.

2 cents worth of advice NO. 2: You should let your baby sleep in a noisy environment so that he can get used to it.

How many of us enjoy sleeping in a noisy place? Next time, when you are sleeping, I blast the radio right beside you and see if you can sleep well! Babies needs to have a good sleep in order to grow well developmentally. And not all babies can be trained depending on their temperaments. I like my son to sleep in a quiet environment. I even hang up the phone when he is asleep. Good sleeping habits are essential for both babies and adults.

2 cents worth of advice NO. 3: You should expose your baby to virus & germs cos he will be stronger.

This is the one I hate most, totally nonsense! Why don't you go and stay in CDC and get all the virus & diseases you need so that you will be super strong! Do you know babies suffer badly when they are sick? Cos they can't eat, they can't sleep and cries badly! Even when they are better, they need about a month for their bodies to fully recover. My PD (pediatrician) always tell me to be careful when bringing Joash out especially to crowded place. So whose advice should I take, yours or my PD?

2 cents worth of advice No. 4: You have to attend church for feeding of the word and fellowship plus, you need to let your baby get used to it. You must trust God for help! Have more faith.

What I am going to say is going to make some people nervous! Who says I don't get feeding from the word, for your info, I attend CHC online service for feeding and worship (btw, worship is a lifestyle, not just singing). And I am refreshed, recharged and totally inspired by Rev. Kong Hee's sermons. The worship is fantastic too! Plus I can watch it anytime I want. I know fellowship is important. I got many christian friends. I chat with them and sometimes go out with them too! Yes, I know corporate worship is important. But my baby is not going to remain a baby forever, when he is ready, I will bring him to church with me! Who says I don't trust God for help? I shall not elaborate on this. The fact that I can have this baby, it is by faith and God's help! I am going to declare this loud: "I AM NOT GOING TO CHURCH UNTIL MY BABY IS READY!" Haha, one little note, I find going to church at this point doesn't makes a difference cos I still have to take care of him throughout service, so might as well stay at home. at least I can get some rest when he is napping.

Alright, that's all I want to say. If you want to comment or give advices to me on parenting and church, think carefully first cos you might incurred my wrath... Grr...... I do take advices but only from those whom I trust and know that they are really concerned (luv you people!). FYI, I am a Diploma trained early childhood teacher (sounds very how lian right, but I don't care!), please get all your facts right before talking to me! And to all these 2 cents worth of advices, my reply is "THANKS BUT NO THANKS!"